Bombaata Strikes Another Blow for Darkness

The Coliseum was spattered with the blood of the innocent today as Team Bombaata curmudgeoned Team Mirrors on the Cieling like so many sheep before a knight's axe.

Match the First

Fueled by the hatred and shame of its previous defeat, Team Bombaata arrived at Rolfs Coliseum ready to do battle in a sacred black war tunic and sweet "'SHAQ 34" shorts. The Black Knight, on the other hand, made a lark of himself as he arrived clad in an unsightly checkered frock and shorts that could not have looked stupider even if they were underwear.
Furiously opening the battle with a salvo of hellfire midrange hook shots, Team Bombaata raced out to a 9-2 lead.
Wishing to see his prey squirm like the worm he is, Dark Bombaata then laughed and taunted his opponent to waifishly hurl attempts from beyond the 3 point moat. Like the furious leap of the tiger on prey, so too did the Dark Night hurl many a flaming shot through the netting of the goal. Soon, it seemed that Team Bombaata's foolproof strategem might indeed prove to be un-foolproof.
Only then was it revealed that Bombaata had merely been toying with his antagonist, and was not as concerned with defending his lead as he was watching a fair maiden do layup drills at the other end of the coliseum.
When the Knight closed the gap to 10-8, the Destroyer of Landsflawlessly discovered the mystical art of the midrange jump shot, and ended the first match of the day. . .little did they know it was not ot be the last. . .

FINAL SCORE: TEAM BOMBAATA - 11 TEAM M.O.T.C. - 8

GAME THE SECOND

In game two, team M.O.T.C. struck back utilizing their superior long ranger artillery. Repeatedly bombing long range shots in from beyond the moat, they went up 10-4 on the strength of The Black Knight Hitting 5 of 6 two pointers. Another Vinny Del Negro, better known to the commoners as 'Lord Vinny of Negro" sealed Team Bambaata's fate. However, the previous day The Black Knight and been a fugitive, and was unable to obtain any nourishment other then a hearty breakfast provide by the international relief organization known as House of Pancakes. This lack of sustenance would prove his downfall in game 3.

FINAL SCORE: TEAM BOMBAATA - 4 TEAM M.O.T.C. - 11

GAME THE THIRD

The hearts of the free and enslaved people of Rolfsia beat quickly as the third match descended upon their little play world like so many evil winds; I tell you that. Initially, King Bombaata fell behind to the clay prince Christensen by a count of 3-2. It was then that the superior conditioning of our Wild Savior came into play. Drawing upon the strength of the warrior gods and the endurance only gained through a lifetime of pillage and rape, Bombaata the Unholy extended his defensive perimeter To the other rside of the moat . This led to the destruction of the MOTC artillery, as their gwailting forces landed but one more launch throughout the match.
At the same time, Team Bombaata engaged on a bold and audacious offensive, attacking the basket like Sir Chamberlain had the innocence and dignity of so many of the fair sex before him. Sadly, an enchantment had been cast over the opening of the goal, and many, many, many, many of Bombaata's shots fell aside in vain, regardless of how sweet the crossover preceding it had been.
Perseverance and hatred won the day however, as the Bombaatan(s) claimed the day with a resounding 11-4 victory to ensure an 18th game at the very least.

FINAL SCOREL TEAM BOMBAATAL 11 TEAM M.O.T.C.- 4
MATCH TEAM BOMBAATA:2 TEAM M.O.T.C. - 1
ADVANTAGE: BOMBAATA
THE CRUSADE STANDS AT ONE CONQUEST A PIECE

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In light of the victory of our dark prince, we have decided to bring to the people an expose on character information about Bombaata, as relayed by the good friars at http://www.nonsolomartelli.net/conan-mdg.htm (No, I have no idea what the fuck this is)
Most of it is in a tonguee foreign to us, but the sages at freetranslation.com have been so kind as to provide us with a, um, free translation:

1. 
   Bombata ( eroe minore )
   Guardia del corpo Assassino
   CARATTERISTICHE
   M 5,5
   AM 58, 88
   AT 54,54
   F 6,7
   R 4,5
   FE 11,17
   I 59,89
   A2,5
   DES 45,75
   AU 2,5
   INT37,57
   FR 47, 67
   VO 47, 67
   SIM 45,65
   Profilo iniziale
   Profilo attuale
   ARMA
   AM
   PAR
   ARMA
   Scimitarra
   RITRATTO
   EQUIPAGGIAMENTO E STORIA DEL PERSONAGGIO
   Capo delle guardie e fedele servitore della Regina Taramis Bombata sembra apparentemente molto affezionato a Jehnna ma la sua lealtà è solo una finzione perchè in realtà è solo un compito affidatogli dalla Regina. Bombata è un uomo di poche parole che non ama discutere e preferisce l'azione, specie se può portare ad una conclusione crudele. Bombata non si fa scrupoli a uccidere quando ne ha occasione. L'unica persona del gruppo di Conan che sembra aver intuito sin da subito la sua vera natura è Zula che non si fiderà di lui ( Bombata comunque noterà i sospetti di Zula e farà di tutto, anche se senza riuscirci, per non permetterle di unirsi al gruppo di avventurieri ). Bombata comunque è uin guerriero davvero formidabile e quando Conan dovrà fronteggiarlo per salvare la Principessa Jehnna il duello che lo aspetterà sarà davvero molto lungo e duro e il Cimmero riuscirà a trionfare sul suo avversario solo con molta difficoltà
   

And so, that being said, here is the translation:

Bombata (smaller hero) Guard of the body Murderous CHARACTERISTIC M AM AT F R FE THE TO DES AU INT FR VO SIM IProfile initial THE AM D PAR ARMS THE AM D PAR Bundle to beak -10 - + 2 - Scimitar - - - - I RETRACT EQUIPPING AND STORY OF THE CHARACTER
Head of the guards and faithful servant of the Queen Taramis Bombata seems apparently very grow fond of Jehnna but its sincerity is alone a pretence because in reality is alone a polite affidatogli from the Queen. Bombata is a man of little words that does not love to discuss and prefers the action, species if can carry to a cruel conclusion. Bombata it is not done scruples to kill when occasion has of it. The sole person of the group of Conan that seems to have intuited sin from immediately its true nature is Zula that will not be trusted of him (Bombata however will note the suspects of Zula and will do of everything, even if without to succeed us, in order not to allow them of to unite itself to the group of adventurers). Bombata however is warlike uin really remarkable and when Conan should face the to save the Princess Jehnna the duel that will wait for will be it really very long and hard and the Cimmero will succeed to triumph on its alone opponent with much difficulty .

Injury Report

No new games have been played since the last post. The game schedule for tuesday night was canceled due to Team Bambaata's desire to watch Lord Shrub's state of the kingdom adress. Instead of take the night off, Team Mirrors on the Ceiling went to Rolfs Colliseum to practice. After an extensive workout in the arena, The Black Knight decided to work on his endurance by running laps in the peasant section of the colliseum. However, his chain-mail underwear rubbed his upper thighs the wrong way, and the local medicine man advised him against playing round two the following morning. For this reason, no further rounds of the WC20000th have been played. Stay tuned for match results of the upcoming round two.

ROUND 1

In was a cold and blustery morning as the gladiators arrived early on January 30th in the year 2006 at Rolfs Colliseum. The air inside was heavy with tension and the unmistakable musk of ass sweat. The Black Knight was clad in all black, including his kick ass ankle brace, while Hollywood the Destroyer copied his black shorts and ankle brace but didn't look nearly as sweet cause he had on some lame ass yellow middle school choir shirt. The rim parried a majority of the competitors shots in the shootaround, though unbeknownst the Destroyer, The Black Knight was missing on purpose. He would convince the Destroyer that he had been poisened the night before, making his game tired as Rip Van Winkle.

Game 1
The Destroyer unsheathed his piece first in the initial game with a barrage of one handed pseudo-hook shots that would've made Grand Master Wilt proud. Falling behind 7-3, The Black Knight battled back from the outside, bombing in long range shots like an archer shooting apples off chicks boobs. After a mid ranger jumper a la Vinny del Negro brought The Black Knight's lead to 10-7, it appeared as though the Destroyer's battle ship had been sunk. However showing a heart whose size could be surpassed only by the size of The Black Knight's sword, the Destroyer managed do just what Wilt had done so many times before, penetrate and score. The Black Knight would no be defeated on this day however, as he faked the Destroyer out of his ankle brace before scorching the net with his stunning good looks and silky smooth jump shotp to take a 1-0 lead in Round 1.

Game 2
The second match of the day featured a strong surge by team Bombaata. Like their barbarian god namesake, the bomabatans rode in from the hills towards the goal with reckless abandon. Befuddling the opposition with an array of lightning quickness and sweet between-the-legs dribbles, Team Bombaataccruised to an 11-8 victory

Game 3
In the final game of Chamberlin size climatic proportions, The Black Knight reigned surpreme. After falling behind early to the destroyers onslaught of or all arrays of weaponry, the The Black Knight found his stroke and filled the net like Wilt did so many women before him. Hitting 4 of his last 5 shots including 3 of 3 from behind the moat, The Black Knight had the walls come crumbling down, winning the decisive game 3 11-6 and taking a 1-0 lead in the best of 35 series

Score: Team Mirrors On the Ceiling leads 1-0

Tournament Rules

Welcome to The Wilt Chamberlin 20000th Memorial Tournament. This tournament will be conducted in an attempt to recreate the endurance trial Wilt himself endured in averaging one woman per night over the course of 54 years. In this grueling test of strength, will, and coolness, gladiators compete to see who will be crowned the one who will rule them all, The Kurgen. Rosters of the two teams are listed below:

Team Mirrors On the Ceiling
-Erik "The Black Night" Christensen

Team Bombaata
-Mike Hollywood the Destroyer Healy

The tournament will be best of 35 rounds, with one required to win 2 of 3 games to 11 points to take the round. Games begin with one of the gladiators shooting a do or die underhanded free throw for possesion of the ball as our fallen warrior would have wished. Goals will be awarded in values of 1 or 2 points, with alternating possesion after hoops. Games will be played on Monday and Wednesday morning at 9 am and Tuesday and Thursday nights at 9 pm in the Rolfs Coliseum. During the course of the tournament, each player is entitled to demand two drunk games of his opposing gladiator. Should a 35th round be necessary, a single game to 100 points will take place. The only causes for play to be suspended will be ankle sprains or soiled undies. Let the games begin.

Media Day

Turn out was lower than expected at the WC20000 Shootaround and Media Day.